Deeper Relationships

Being Present with Reactions

7-part video series on improving your relationships by learning how to be present with reactions.


Being Present with Reactions - Part 1: Urges & Addictions
Urges & addictions can control your life and take you where you don't want to go. When the urge hits you, just bring awareness to the urge in the present moment. The urge drives you to do something to fulfill it. The tendency is to get lost in the urge, in "the hunt" and in the drama. Instead, use it as an opportunity to practice presence.

Being Present with Reactions - Part 2: Dealing with Loss
Loss comes in all forms, from loss of a possession, to loss of health, to death. In every case, we react to the loss. In this video, we discuss the nature and experience of loss, and the emotional pain & suffering that often accompany it. First you have to determine if the event requires you to do something. Then you make your choices. The key is to bring more awareness to the entire process: the reaction, the pain & suffering, the choice of what to do about it, and the aftermath of your feelings & inner-dialog.

Being Present with Reactions - Part 3: Wake-Up Calls
Life is like a dream. When we wake up, we realize how real it felt. Intense emotional reactions take us into a type of dream, and the remedy is to wake up. The dream can last hours, days, or even years. A wake-up call can come in the form of a disastrous event. A wake-up call is any event that gets your attention and wakes you up out of the dream. In this video, we discuss the various forms the reaction dream can take, and how you can find your way out of it by creating your own "wake-up calls."

Being Present with Reactions - Part 4: Lost in the Mind
Our minds are programmed from an early age to trap our awareness during reactions. Early childhood coping mechanisms become mental mazes that can keep us trapped for a lifetime. In this video we discuss choosing awareness rather than the insanity of emotional reactions that can sabotage our relationships. Your brain functions including various types of memory recall can trigger intense phobic reactions. Understanding the process can help you to deprogram yourself.

Being Present with Reactions - Part 5: Blaming & Being Right
Emotional reactions can be harmful to relationships. Especially when they result in blaming & the need to be right. You have to value something higher than being right or winning the argument. When some kind of loss is involved, the reactions can get very high, resulting in a need to blame someone else. Blaming reactions often escalate into high drama, with both people pushing each other's buttons creating a chain of reactions. Waking up and bringing awareness to the moment makes the difference. It can help you to change your focus - to focus on the relationship, rather than the blaming.

Being Present with Reactions - Part 6: The Ebb & Flow of Life
We tend to react negatively to loss of anything - physical or conceptual. Ultimately, we will experience death - the greatest loss. Life flows in, and life flows out. Being able to effectively deal with loss & gain is getting in tune with the ebb & flow of life. In this video, we discuss the effects of loss on the ego, and how we can bring awareness to the events when loss is experienced.

Being Present with Reactions - Part 7: The Opportunity in Relationships
Relationships give us a great opportunity for spiritual growth. Relationships put you in all kinds of situations daily, where you find yourself reacting to the other person. Without awareness, it can be a nightmare, but by bringing presence to each reaction, you can transform your life. The transform begins when you reframe the way you look at your relationships. The situation that causes you to negatively react isn't the issue at all. The real issue is your reaction. By bringing awareness to the reaction, you have the opportunity to see what you haven't been seeing. In the seeing is the transformation.


"Being Present With Reactions"
is a Deeper Relationships video series


About resources




reactive communication is relationship sabotage


you can react or respond.  Your choice.


angry reactions