Deeper Relationships

Healing Love Relationships

10-part series on how you can heal your relationship with your significant other.


Part 1 - Love and Teamwork
Love relationships often deteriorate and even self-destruct over time. This 10-part series is about how you can heal your love relationship by solving your relationship problems. This first segment introduces the series, and focuses on the importance of viewing you and your partner as a team.

Part 2 - Irritating Behaviors
When your partner's behaviors irritate you, don't let the irritation lead to resentment and hostility. This is the second part in a series on how to heal your love relationship. Your partner will have behaviors that irritate you, and there is something positive you can do about it. This segment and the entire series will give you the tools to deal with these behaviors as members of a team.

Part 3 - Own the Problem
When you are upset about something your partner has done or is doing, YOU have a problem. When you and your partner don't see eye to eye on important issues, YOU have a problem. When you are unhappy about your partner's attitude or behavior, YOU have a problem. This session is about fixing your problems. You will need your partner's help to fix these problems, but you have to own them.

Part 4 - Focus on the Goal
Solving the problems between you and your partner requires negotiation, and to be effective in managing your relationships you have to be an effective negotiator. This segment (part 4 of a 10-part series on healing love relationships) focuses on clarifying your goal in solving any problem. Reactive behaviors can sink a relationship. The way to heal the wounds of years of reactive behavior is to start solving the problems in your relationship. This begins with goal clarification.

Part 5 - Define the Problem
When you and your partner have a problem that is ongoing and doesn't seem like it's going to change, it's time to get serious about resolving it. So what is the problem? It depends on who you ask (you or your partner). It depends on how you look at it. In this segment (part 5 of a 10-part series on healing love relationships), we focus on defining the problem you intend to solve.

Part 6 - Learn to Negotiate
Negotiation isn't just for businesses and money transactions. Negotiation is an important component of the daily interaction between successful love partners. Negotiation is about solving relationship and behavior problems that have the potential of undermining the relationship. In this session (part 6 in a 10-part series about healing love relationships) we discuss the format of a difficult conversation in which you intend to negotiate a behavioral change with your partner. The conversation format is in three parts: 1) Goals, 2) Roles, 3) Procedures.

Part 7 - Be Assertive
Some couples don't spend enough time talking about their problems. Others talk about them all the time, but their talk doesn't resolve the problems. They get upset, argue, yell, scream, cry and react negatively to each other. You have to be assertive to solve your relationship problems. In this session (part 7 of a 10-part series on healing love relationships), we discuss what it means to be assertive, and why assertiveness is essential in solving relationship problems. Assertiveness is not aggressiveness. Assertiveness is you assessing a problem, coming up with a strategy for solving it, and then initiating a conversation focused on resolving the problem.

Part 8 - Focus on Interests & Options
If you want to solve relationship problems you have to negotiate a resolution. The difference between nagging and negotiating is whether you arrive at a mutual agreement about how behaviors will change going forward. But negotiations often get deadlocked because both partners get stuck arguing about their positions. In this session (part 8 of a 10-part series on healing love relationships), we focus on breaking the positional deadlock and moving toward a resolution. This is based on negotiation basics. The skilled negotiator moves the conversation into "interests" and then moves it toward the exploration of options for resolving the problem.

Part 9 - Practice Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence is required in order to effectively heal relationship problems. Emotional Intelligence is something you need to practice, especially during emotional conflict. In this session (part 9 of a 10-part series on healing love relationships), we discuss how you can practice Emotional Intelligence while engaged in difficult conversations/negotiations with your partner. Emotional Intelligence involves four basic competencies: Self Awareness, Self Management, Social Awareness and Relationship Management.

Part 10 - Don't Be a Martyr
When you have ongoing, unresolved problems with your partner, it can lead you to play the role of a martyr. Many people play out the victim role daily. In this session, (Part 10 of a 10-part series on healing love relationships), we discuss the contrast between victimhood and ownership, and how to own your problems, your emotions and your relationships.



"Healing Love Relationships"
is a Deeper Relationships video series


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healing your relationship


enjoying life together


creating a life together that feels like home